How do you teach a detacher to attach? Detachers never learned to attach. No one taught them. In their childhood, staying detached was part of surviving. Being emotionally close was not an option. So, they stayed in their head, in their room, or outside. The sad part is they do not understand the beauty of attaching.

If you decide to accept the challenge of training a detacher, here are a few ideas:

• Pray for wisdom.
• Have a long vision.
• Take small steps.
• Plan to go long and slow.
• Recognize you are the leader, and this job can be difficult.
• Never quit.
• Followers (detachers) will resist, drag their feet, and be confused.
• Keep leading. Be the example.
• Remember this is a God assignment.
• God loves oneness. And love wins.

Here are some concrete ideas:

• Randomly stop and ask for a one-minute hug.
• While hugging, whisper. Rest. Rest. Rest.
• Find quiet moments to practice attaching.
• Say this to your spouse and ask him or her to repeat it back: “My life is better with you in it. It’s good to be close. Thank you for growing.”

Remember

Detachers are made in the image of God. They have hearts made for love. Detachers are really just undeveloped attachers.

Prayer

Father, please bless me, whether I am the attacher or detacher, teach me more about oneness. Help me reflect you and your love. Amen.

Bible

Jesus shared this about life change.
Those who cling to their lives will give up true life. But those who let go of their lives for my sake and surrender it all to me will discover true life.
Matthew 10:39 (TPT)