In childhood, you established your emotional system. It helped you cope and survive.  The problem is that it was designed during youthful immaturity and confusing times. As a result, your emotional system only developed with skills to deal with pain, neglect, and self-protection. That is your go-to plan.

However, in adulthood you need to develop a new emotional system. A mature emotional system. That is where you keep the best skills of your original plan and work through the weaker skills.

This new plan is full of adult thinking, maturity, and a growth mindset. It involves greater emotional awareness and deeper insights. Skills include insights that help you grow closer and deeper with God and your spouse. They are the skills of oneness.

It’s amazing how many individuals will fight till their death to hold on to their original and limited emotional skills. This is how they sound:

• “I’ve always been like this. I can’t change.”
• “Why can’t you just love me the way that I am?”
• “You’re the one with the problem, not me.”
• “This is just the way I am. Take it or leave it.”
• “I’ve always heard, people don’t really change.”
• “If I change, who will I become?”

Prayer

Father, help me keep growing and changing. Give me strength and wisdom as I submit. You have my permission to change my heart. Make me like Jesus. Amen.

Bible Connection

When you become a Christian, you are a new creation.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17 (LSB)

St. Paul exhorts Titus to teach older Christian men:

Teach older men to be self-controlled [sober], serious [dignified; worthy of respect], wise [self-controlled], strong [sound; healthy] in faith, in love, and in patience [endurance]. – Titus 2:2 (EXB)

From the editor

Stephen selects relevant Bible verses to the concepts being taught. I may add or modify the passages to align with what Stephen is trying to get across. However, we encourage you to take the ball and run with it. Do your own research into God’s word and learn from the Bible as your primary source of spiritual and emotional growth. I encourage all Christian men on an emotional growth mission to be doing this. – Timothy Bergkvist