I recently attended a talk where a pastor and relationship coach made a profound statement.
He spoke about a relationship conflict where he and his wife were working through a difficult and emotionally heavy issue. After a long exhausting conversation, he could go no more. He needed a break. The matter was not yet resolved but he was emotionally spent. He didn’t want to end the conversation, but wanted to pause the conversation and pick it up the next day. Here is what he said.
He gently said, “What do you need from me right now? I want to hit the pause button for today.”
Wow! That was the perfect question. It was respectful, he was not attacking, withdrawing, or shutting her down. He was respectfully asking for a break.
His concern was, “How can I leave you in a good place? Even though we are not done. I know you are hurting. How can I help you feel enough love that we can pause?”
“What do you need from me right now?” Isn’t that a great question to use in many situations? If someone is hurting, in pain, confused, and demonstrating need. You may want to use this statement. “What do you need from me right now?”
Bible Connection
Let there be no more resentment, no more anger or temper, no more violent self-assertiveness, no more slander and no more malicious remarks, Be kind to each other, be understanding. Be as ready to forgive others as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32 (PHILLIPS)
Prayer
Father, help me be wise in the middle of difficult situations. I need your strength and wisdom when dealing with my wife and others. Holy Spirit, please give me wise counsel. Amen
Comments
One response to “Grace in the Middle of Conflict”
I see how this can be very useful. Especially if it’s late and we’re both tired.