SKILL BUILDING SERIES

I participated in a recent weekend training seminar for marriage therapists. The topic was attachment. This prompted me to share thoughts on two different but related topics.

Individuals need these two essential life skills:

• Strong attaching and bonding skills.
• Healthy emotional skills for the “alone” times.

Great relationships are about attaching and bonding. Daily work at developing those skills.

Here are two unhealthy relationship strategies.

• Try to avoid all stressful topics. Never talk about or through difficult issues.
• Settle for the kind of marriage where two individuals live together but live detached.

ABOUT THE ALONE TIMES

Alone is where you encounter your deepest fears. Your fears keep you from experiencing a richer, fuller life. Those old, deep, frozen, fears hinder you from enjoying life. In the alone place you find fear, panic, and ugly self-worth. Which will either drive you to some bad coping habit. That lasts long enough to turn into an addiction. Or you will learn and practice self-forgiveness and self-soothing.

Attaching is one way of dealing with being alone. You don’t have to go through life fearing your alone place. Instead, practice the skills of deep, rich talking, sharing, and attaching.

In the past some individuals introduced you to the pain of rejection and abandonment. Today, healthy individuals, and Jesus, will help heal you through attaching, bonding, and relationship.

In closing, the speaker at the seminar made this statement.

Bonus Skill

Be an exquisite partner.

Don’t you just love that? Reach really high for God, yourself, and your relationships. Be exquisite.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, you are exquisite. Jesus you are my exquisite life example. Holy Spirit you are an exquisite counselor. Help me to be exquisite in my relationships. Help me get better at attaching. And help me find you and grow in the alone times. Amen.

BIBLE

And the two shall become (exquisitely) one. – Mark 10:8

I am with you always. ( Even in the alone place.) – Matt. 28:20

Exquisite means a thing of beauty.