Here are six quotes from a recent Emotionally Focused Therapy, Marriage workshop. The session was taught by Dr. Regina Bordieri.

“We are wired in our souls for connection.”

Our parents did not understand emotions so they could not coach us on connecting. Many individuals struggle to understand their emotions and attaching to a spouse.

“Emotional connecting equals safety. Disconnecting means isolating and is dangerous.” Staying close helps us survive.”

“Attachment theory asks these questions. ‘Can I reach for you? If I do, will you respond to me?’” My reaching for you is a gesture for connecting. ‘Will you reach back?’”

“Connecting soothes the nervous system and brings us to rest. Disconnecting is painful.”

“Adult bonding is very much like child bonding.” It is where we interact with each other. Being present. Staying playful. Having fun and making a connection.

“Wouldn’t it be great if we had some kind of signal to use with our spouse? A signal that would say I need some help. I am struggling with loneliness, fear, or sadness.”

Close

Two goals for marriage are being known and developing a strong connection.

Prayer

Father, help me understand my emotions. And help me understand the emotional dance between myself and my wife. Help me learn to attach and bond. You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. Help my marriage be a reflection of your oneness. Amen.

Bible- Paul instructs.
For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. And the two will become one flesh…Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself.
Eph. 5:31-33
Paul continues.
Then make my joy complete, by being like-minded having the same love being united in spirit and purpose.
Phil 2:2 NIV