As a child, I divided myself into two parts.

There was the “good me.” This was the part that was praised, thanked, encouraged, accepted, and valued. When I was good, I felt seen. I felt safe. I felt like I belonged.

Then there was the “bad me.” This was the part that got into trouble. It was scolded, criticized, spanked, and told “you are bad”. That part of me carried shame, fear, and rejection.

Instead of believing, “I made a mistake,” I began believing, “I am a mistake.”

Children don’t have the emotional maturity to separate behavior from identity. 

So, if I did something bad, then “bad me” became who I believed I was.

To survive emotionally, I split myself into two halves: the half that was good and could earn love, and the half that did wrong, failed, and hated rejection.

Today, I see the cost of living divided. There is no peace. There is only half of me living and half of me hiding.

Close-

Living divided results in personal torment. A person is constantly torn between trying to act good while secretly feeling bad.

Prayer-

Father, please lead me to wholeness. It’s time for spiritually mature, adult thinking. Amen

Scripture- Jesus said.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”

John 10:10     ESV