Today’s information is taken from the book titled, Created for Connection by Sue Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer (not sponsored).
Researchers Phil Hazan and Cindy Shaver discovered that Attachment Theory not only applies to the mother-child relationship. But also applies to the husband-wife relationship. Here is a modified version of what they found:
- All through life we seek out and stay close to a few precious loved ones.
- Connecting with a spouse offers us a safe haven and a secure base.
- Loss of a sense of connection with a spouse is painful. It creates a disorienting sense of vulnerability.
- Disconnection at times of high need can be traumatizing to a spouse.
- Being emotionally available and responsive to my spouse’s needs creates a secure loving connection.
- When a wife feels safe enough, she can risk reaching out to her husband and ask for her needs to be met.
- Sexuality is part of adult bonding.
- The relationship between God and people is an attachment bond. God is a safe haven, a secure base, and the ultimate source of comfort and care.
We used to think marriage problems were just communication problems. After reading the above list we now know differently.
PRAYER
Father, help me grow a fabulous love story with my wife. Forgive me. My vision has been small and one-sided. But you are growing me with insights and vision. Thank you and Amen.
BIBLE
Husbands, be loving your wives just-as Christ also loved the church and handed Himself over for her – Ephesians 5:25 (DLNT)
He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28