Individuals function on many levels. For this blog we will focus on two levels.

Level One- is where you operate out of your social and emotional skills.

Level Two is the place of your deepest fears.

We have previously discussed that men are driven by a core fear. Here are some common deep fears.
1. Fear of Failure
2. Fear of Rejection
3. And, fear of not being good enough

In the book, Hold Me Tight, the author outlines the deep fears of women. Here are those common fears.
1. Fear of living disconnected.
2. Fear of being abandoned.

We have recently been discussing marital conflict. My thoughts are that we fight on Level One. We blame, shame, attack and criticize.

But what if the real driver of our behaviors is Level Two fears? If we look deeper and wiser we can see and hear the fear in our spouse.

And what if we see a scared, girl fearful of living disconnected and being abandoned. We might be kinder. Go slower. And act more loving.

Closing

Minimize the fighting on Level One. Grow in looking like Jesus on Level Two.

Prayer

Father, help me. Help us. Please give me wisdom and insight. Help me see my wife at a deeper level. Help me see that she is also longing for love. Help me learn to love deeply. Amen.

Bible

Love one another deeply, from the heart.
1 Pet. 1:22b NIV