Author: Stephen Cervantes

Our hearts are made for love, by love, and to love. The fuel of our heart is love. What is the opposite of love? Rejection. So, we love, love and we hate rejection.We love being chosen. We hate being excluded. Criticism is verbal rejection. Criticism triggers rejection and pain: “You’re so stupid! You’re just a…

I’ve heard this statement several times. “I’m good! As long as I can just stay out of my own head.” So, I asked myself. What’s in his head? Here are four possible scary answers. These four topics play an unending, inner, verbal, loop of misery. And, that loop lives night and day in my head.…

When a man is in recovery he needs one thought: “One day at a time.” But when a man starts an emotional growth mission he needs this thought: “Three years.” This is what his emotional growth journey looks like: YEAR ONE YEAR TWO YEAR THREE Biblical Concepts Submit yourselves. Take the narrow path. Seek and…

A wife tells her husband she is feeling lonely. She wants more closeness and emotional connection. She continues, I want us to grow deeper in our relationship. I want a deep, emotional connection with you. Her husband, inwardly, snickers. Outwardly he says, “I’ll try.” He changes for a few days. Then, he falls back into…

What are some reasons for a man to be emotional stunted? Here are a few: Based on the above, he shut down and disconnected from his own emotional system. Now, let’s look at the long view. He spent the first 18 years of life designing a survival system void of emotions. Then, the next 20…

When someone says, “You failed!” I get upset fast. My stomach and chest tighten. Then, fear floods my emotional system. From my view, it’s an all out assault. The old, inner, voice whispers, “You failed again. You never learn. You’re just not good enough!” Blame and shame join the attack. All it took was one…

What happens on an Emotional-Spiritual Growth Mission? You first notice your biggest, scariest wound starts shrinking. Then, you start to see some smaller wounds that also need work. You discover God is always ready to meet you in your wounded place. And, God always speaks wisdom and brings healing. You notice you’ve stopped running away.…

It is a simplified, roadmap to freedom. It’s written as one person’s story. And, it’s a gift to hopefully educate and encourage you. (Note- Some emotional wounds are deep and heal slowly. This is an educational, emotional map and not intended to treat trauma.) FIRST – I knew the way forward was back through the…

What words does your soul long to hear?What are three powerful, emotional, spiritual words?Which three words are almost as important as, I love you?“I CHOOSE YOU!” Those words convey a place of belonging.They meanYou are includedYou belong with me“I CHOOSE YOU! Those three words convey-A vision,A future andTogetherness.“I CHOOSE YOU!”As a friend,A resource,And, as someone…

A Recovery Coach made this statement to a client.“You developed an addiction because you have a hole in your heart. And, you’re trying to fill it.” I thought, What does it mean to have a “hole in your heart?” When I think of the HEART, I immediately think: Your HEART is the place of love,…

To be free in the present, you must revisit your past. Why? Here are a few reasons: Because of these things your foundation is wobbly in places. Why go back into your old stories? Here are three reasons. Conclusion Because, you will go back as an adult. That alone will change everything. If you are…

I often hear at Men’s Retreats. “You want to be fully known and fully loved.” My first response is, “YES! I want to be fully loved.” Then, I ask myself, “What person do I want, to know my every odd, quirky, bizarre thoughts?” Answer- No one. Here’s what I want!-A God who forgives my sins…