Three things that surprised me when I began to work in this area:

1. I had no idea so many individuals were negatively impacted in childhood.
2. I never knew getting messed up as a child hindered your ability to love as an adult. And,
3. I didn’t know there were so many people who carry damaged childhood emotional programs. Programs hinder their ability to love well.

It was a surprise to see so many married men in survival mode. They lived with a coping and surviving lifestyle. Learning, growing, and deepening their relationship wasn’t what they were striving towards.

When I started out, I just assumed everyone learned “how to love” in childhood. And that included things like:

• Giving. Sharing. Helping each other.
• Serving. Sacrificing. Being patient. And,
• Watching out for each other.

Oh, and with that thinking, I also believed we all learned how to engage in rich, deep dialogue. It really was a shock to learn these things. It breaks my heart to see a couple struggling. They both desire to be loved well. However, a broken, emotional program hinders them from connecting. We all want to be loved. We want to be seen, valued, and encouraged. We want to be loved very well.

But here is what I knew then, and still believe:

• God said he was love.
• We are made in this image.
• Our hearts–long for love.
• Our spirits are nurtured by love.
• We are told love covers a multitude of sins and shortcomings.

Do everything you can to love well. Pray for it. Practice it. Walk in it. Work on it. Learn to love well.

In Closing

Here is your homework assignment:

1. Study God and love for the rest of your life.
2. Ask for wisdom to learn your broken emotional program.
3. Learn the joy of deep dialogue.

Prayer

Father, thank you that you are growing me. And thank you that you give me a lifetime to work on growth. Please give me eyes to see, ears to hear, and an open heart. Help me learn to love like you. Help me learn to love very, very well. Amen.

Bible Connection

And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has in us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. – 1 John 4:16 (LSB)