Failure is defined as being deficient or not having the ability to perform a normal function. (Merriam-Webster)

Being told you failed as an adult is troubling. Experiencing lots of failure as a child can be traumatic. So much so that it becomes a hated part of your identity.

“You failed!” is only a small step away from, “You are a failure!”

I despise everything about failing.

If I hear disappointment in my wife’s voice, deep down, it strikes terror. I try so hard to please her. I do so much good. But if something gets overlooked and she expresses disappointment then failure gets triggered.

I want to be the hero, protector, and the wonderful husband. But sooner or later I fail.

My first response is to be hard on myself. So, when she gets upset and uses that tone, I get triggered and internally freak out. She’s saying, I’m a deficient, failing, loser.

Most people don’t know this but I’ve had this reaction since childhood. It comes from hundreds of incidents of failure followed by pain, humiliation, and rejection.

Prayer

Father, fear and failure have ruled me internally. I want your love to rule over my heart. Please help me. Amen.

Bible Connection

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. – 1 John 4:18 (NIV)