Has anyone ever told you, “You have a wall up?” Have you ever heard a wife say to her husband, “Your body is here. But I can’t find your emotions.” These are statements indicating a man is living divided.

How come some men are ignorant of their own emotions? How can they be emotionally detached from their own life story? Here’s one explanation.

Some men have erected an emotional wall. They started dividing early in life. All Painful Stories live on one side of the wall. And all Good Stories live on the other side.

The Painful Story side of the wall includes emotions an individual does not want to remember.

• Failures
• Embarrassments
• Sad, ugly moments
• Times he was rejected
• Efforts that resulted in failure
• The times he was mocked
• Secrets
• Stories of youthful ignorance
• Punishment
• Pain and humiliation

The Good Story side of the wall includes,

• Positivity and nurturing
• Success stories
• Fun
• Being liked and included
• His strengths
• Victories
• Brags
• Jokes and Lighthearted fun.

Once I sat with a gentleman that was struggling. We were talking about ups, downs, and struggles. Then I said to him. “Let’s talk about your past.” He bent over, put his face in his hands and wept bitterly. What he heard me say was, “Let’s cross over the wall and look at your Painful Stories.” He fought through his tears and spoke. “I’ve been running from those stories all my life.”

Close

• The next time you’re talking to a man that’s full of logic, answers and entertaining Thoughts. Remember, his heart and emotions are probably stuck in the stories on the Painful side of the wall.
• Or, if you find yourself emotionally shutdown, angry or numb, it might be time to cross over the wall. And explore some Painful Stories.

Prayer

Father, please help me be whole. I’m tired of living divided, unhappy and disconnected. Amen.

Bible

Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. – Matthew 12:25 (NIV)