What would you see if you could look behind the scenes in the life of someone with an addiction? What areas would be strong? And what areas would be weak? And why would it be so hard for an addict to change?

Here are five things you would see:

A Great Social Presentation

Looking normal is very important. Having a strong normal-looking social image is critical. It is imperative that he does everything he can to make his life look good.

Overuse of Logic

Because he is stunted emotionally, he must overuse logic. He heavily relies on the power of reasoning. He justifies all his actions, sounds smart, and always has an answer. He does tasks. And enjoys things more than people.

Emotionally Numb

Growing up his life was chaotic and painful. He shut down his feelings. Emotions meant chaos. Emotions caused problems. He avoids them. And he does not let himself feel sad or grieve.

Escaping and Pleasure-Seeking behaviors

Most of his life is spent coping. He is a survivor. He was never loved well, so he just goes through the motions. Some would say he is an empty suit. He is detached from his emotions, so he experiences little pleasure in life. He escapes and acts out to make himself feel alive.

No Deep Connection with other Men

What is the first thing they tell someone with an addiction? Join a group. Work with other men. Explore the story of how you ended up divided and detached from your own emotions. Men need men as mentors. Growth happens in relationship to other men.

What does this Mean to You?

So now you know. This is the template that fits most men with an addiction. Change takes
time, insights, and male friendships.

Prayer

Father, I’m tired of living in survival and coping. I want the promises of Jesus. I need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. And I need to experience your love. Thank you for never giving up on me. You can heal me. That is my prayer. And if you don’t heal me quickly, then heal me slowly. Thank you. Amen.

Bible

Finally, as members of God’s beloved family, we must go after the one who wanders from the truth and bring him back. For the one who restores the sinning believer back to God from the error of his way, gives back to his soul life from the dead, and covers over countless sins by their demonstration of love! – James 5:19-20 (TPT)

Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always. – Philippians 4:8 (TPT)