What if you were a child raised in an alcoholic home? How well would you be emotionally trained? The answer is you would receive limited emotional training. Alcoholic homes are emotionally stunted homes. The answer to all problems is to have a drink. Emotions and struggles are just another reason to drink.Â
Children of alcoholics live by one rule. The rule is “don’t.” Don’t stress out mom or dad. Don’t be a problem. Don’t add to the difficulties of home life.Â
Somewhere between the parents being overwhelmed, and the child trying to not be stressful, quiet emotional rules are written. Here is what a child decides about interacting with his parents.Â
- Don’t want
- Don’t needÂ
- Don’t ask
- Don’t thinkÂ
- Don’t talk
- Don’t tell
- Don’t feel
- Don’t express needs
- Don’t struggle
- Don’t dream
- Don’t plan
- Don’t be any troubleÂ
- Just don’t!
There is a term for children that grow up this way. It is Adult Children of Alcoholics. (ACOA). Lots of material exists if you want to learn more.
Prayer
Father, thanks for having a heart for little children. Thank you for your love. And thank you that we don’t have to finish the way we started. Please help me grow in emotional and spiritual health. And thank you that in your kingdom “don’ts” become “do’s.” Amen.
Bible
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. – Luke 11:9 (NIV)
All the promises of God are “yes” in Christ. – 2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV)