I stumbled on to my life mission at summer camp. Being a summer camp counselor was my favorite job. I think I spent a better part of 13 summers working at summer camps.

When I worked as a summer camp counselor, I had one special assignment: Take care of the “Toads.” That was the code name for difficult, defiant, and out of sync campers. Every camp session there were a few problem campers. They struggled to fit into the group. Here was my assignment. Help them feel like they were wanted and show them they belonged to our tribe.

I immediately went to work. I accepted them, built trust, and sought them out. I called their name a lot and ignored their defiance. I loved and disarmed them. By the end of the first week they were starting to relax.

Camp became a safe place. They knew I had their back. Soon they were forced to make a decision: Either defy, stay in survival mode and continue living as an outsider, or embrace being loved, rest a little, and belong. Love almost always won.

What are some insights from this?

• All behavior makes sense if you see it as survival.
• Even odd behaviors make sense and were created somewhere else and for some other purpose.
• We create survival behaviors in youth and continue them long into adulthood.
• We do old survival behaviors today, unnecessarily, because they have become a habit.
• We need an irresistible offer of love and belonging to change.

Prayer

Father, please show me, Me. Show me any childhood or survival behavior that I continue to do unnecessarily. I want love to transform me. I need your deep abiding love. And, I need to belong. Help me when I’m scared or feel attacked to not automatically go into survival mode. Please keep growing me. Amen.

Bible Verse

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, we read, “While the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. HE RAN to his son.” (Luke 15:20 NIV) That is an irresistible offer of love and belonging.