There is a theory called Internal Family Systems. That theory says you, as a person, are organized into different parts. I’m going to use the language of “parts” as we discuss the following topic.

How do you deal with a wife in a moment of her anger?

The Situation:

You walk in the front door. And your wife immediately goes off on you. She’s upset, angry, and lashing out. She is obviously irritated about something. But it’s not exactly clear because several topics get thrown around.

Your Responses:

1 . (You internally say. “Adult” part – to the front)

Your Adult assess and concludes. There is no danger here. This is just a wife in pain.

2 . (You internally say. “Curious Boy” part- to the front)

The Curious Boy part says to your wife, “Hey babe. What happened? What’s going on? Tell me about it.”

She expresses the six disappointments she’s been carrying. And, the last one includes something about you letting her down.

3 . Your body signals. You are under attack!!!

So, you quickly think, “My Spirit and the Holy Spirit” part- to the front.

Then you whisper. “Defender” part- please sit down. You are not needed. There is no fight here. Next, you quickly and silently pray.

Father, your daughter is in pain. She is overwhelmed. She needs to vent out her disappointments. Since, Jesus sacrificed for me. I will let her vent on me. And, I will not argue, defend or crush her spirit. Father, please give me wisdom. I need it right now. Holy Spirit please comfort me. And, when my wife is done. Please give me the strength to comfort her. Amen.

Then, just listen and see how the spirit directs you.

Meditate on this verse.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:13 (NKJV)