I have repeated one emotional pattern from childhood through adulthood.
The pattern from childhood
- Inside myself, I feel like I am not good enough. I hide that feeling as much as I can. Then, I try to be good.
- I try hard not to fail. I don’t want to fail. But, sooner or later, I fail.
- If I fail, I get punished. Sent to my room, spanked, yelled at, or ignored.
- Being punished reinforces that I am not good enough.
The pattern continues as an adult.
- Now, I am an Adult. And, as a man I don’t feel good enough.
- I try hard not to fail. I don’t want to fail. But, sooner or later, I fail.
- I hate the pain of failure. So, I use something to numb the pain.
- I have long hated this pattern. But, it is a difficult, old, deep pattern.
My New Plan
- I have accepted that Jesus came to set me free from my old feelings of failure.
- I have started to repeat: If I am good enough for Jesus, then I am good enough for me. And, I don’t need your approval.
- I was a struggling boy. Now, I am a man who struggles sometimes. But, I am not a failure.
- Now, when I fail, I am much kinder to myself, and I immediately run to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Bible Connection
Freedom is what we have—Christ has set us free! Stand, then, as free people, and do not allow yourselves to become slaves again.
Galatians 5:1 (GNT)
Prayer
Thank you Jesus for telling me I could be set free. Holy Spirit thank you for doing your work inside me. Father, please love on me today. I want to know the deep comforting love that comes from being in your presence. Amen