1. You start using new language like, “Im working on myself.” Or, “I’m on an Emotional Growth mission.”
2. You start looking deeper inside yourself. Old painful stories get retold. And, childhood pain gets vented out.
3. You start saying things like, “Old Me – New Me” or “Old Program- New Program.”
4. You start using more emotional language including grieving, releasing, accepting and forgiving.
5. You start seeing how all the parts of your story fit together–“I was not loved well in childhood so, when you get upset with me I get scared and respond poorly.”
6. You see that you have been trapped in some old, childhood beliefs.
“ I failed a lot growing up. Then, I started calling myself stupid. Calling myself stupid has kept me emotionally stunted .”
7. You gain insights. And, your feelings start making sense. “I hate being alone. Bad things happen when I am left alone. Alone is not a good place for me.”
8. You understand that your core fear keeps you stunted. “My fear of failure has stunted me. It has kept me from taking chances and going forward.”
9. You move from confusion to clarity. In the past you kept repeating, “I don’t know what to do.” Now you repeat, “Stay in this difficult discussion. Listen to her pain. Then, offer her some comfort.”
10. You see that God is at work in you. Jesus is your role model. And, the Holy Spirit whispers, “Keep growing.”